My life changed completely when…My husband, Steve Marsden died in 2017.
If you've found this blog by googling words like grief, loss and suffering, you’re probably going through a hard time, perhaps you've lost someone close to you, maybe you've split from your partner or life has just changed for you in some profound way.
I hope this blog will inspire you to keep going and to try different things. I certainly have over the last 5 years.
I'm fully embracing the idea of life's plot twists. In my story I tell myself I'm not the victim instead I’m the author of a rather interesting novel. These blog posts are divided into Beginnings, Helped Me, Solo Life and Sixty Days.
BEGINNINGS : The start of my grieving journey, the early months living a solo life after a 38 year marriage.
Find out how to create a memorialized Facebook account
A good box set is like spending time with a good friend
Going for a walk on your own can feel scary but this kind of exercise is free, good for your mind and body too
HELPED ME : The things, the people and the experiences that have help me adjust to a solo life after the death of my husband in 2017
NLP training is great way to learn new life strategies. An added bonus for me is that I made some great friends on the training course too.
I really enjoy writing in my journal, last night I wrote 14 pages about the Ipswich Spill Festival . Find out how my journals have helped me.
I’ve always felt that Steve lives on through his children and his grandson, but through his sourdough starter too? I had no idea.
I’m growing sweetcorn and lots of it, on my allotment. If you live nearby I’m planning to share the fruits of my labour with friends. I have no idea whether sweetcorn will grow in sandy soils, let’s see
SOLO LIFE : How to survive the loss of a loved one and to reinvent yourself as a single person. These blogs are about living in the world as a solo person
Imagine getting a call from ITV News saying they’d run to interview you about your Airbnb experiences. I was happy to help, Airbnb has certainly played a big part in my life helping to overcome loneliness and filling my home with light. This is the story of what happened
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. My fourth country, China, Shanghai
I've teamed up with Suffolk New College to offer this 3 week Mindfulness training course, starting on 24th November. The course is suitable for anyone looking for ways to cope in these difficult times.
I am so grateful for life and all the wonderful treasures that come into my life. Thank you. Om Shanti
SIXTY DAYS : My travel adventures through six countries and 20,000 miles the year my husband died
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, through Siberia to Moscow, end of the line for me.
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Cycling in Beijing, close to the Forbidden City and climbing the Great Wall of China
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Sailing from Osaka through the inland Japanese sea to Shanghai was wonderfully cathartic
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the magical temple of Miyajima
My Story
I'm a 60 something woman whose lifelong partner, lover, soul mate and father to my 3 children died in 2017. We had a love affair that lasted for 46 years and 1 day. We met on 27th February 1971, Steve, aka My Rock, died on 28th February 2017. I hold onto the fact that he never stopped loving me until he took his last breath.
I can't be sure when I decided to shift my mindset to focus on everything I have rather than what I've lost. Perhaps it was when I was preparing to talk about our love at Steve's Wake. But this shift was a game changer for me and is still important to this today. Of course, during the last 5 years, I've been overwhelmed by sadness at key anniversaries and there've been times when my grief has hit me like a tsunami wave but I've become resilient, I've embraced a new life, a preloved one.
My blog may not solve all your problems but hopefully, you'll see how I've embraced my new life. You'll never catch me feeling sorry for myself, I have a new perspective, I feel fortunate that I still have a life to live. I will always remember Steve and our incredible life together, his amazing love has powered me on each day and he'll often get a mention in my blog.
If it helps, you can write comments below any of my blogs, especially if they resonate with you and if any of your friends might enjoy reading my words, please share.
For more information about my story, check out this newspaper article
Imagine getting a call from ITV News saying they’d run to interview you about your Airbnb experiences. I was happy to help, Airbnb has certainly played a big part in my life helping to overcome loneliness and filling my home with light. This is the story of what happened
NLP training is great way to learn new life strategies. An added bonus for me is that I made some great friends on the training course too.
I really enjoy writing in my journal, last night I wrote 14 pages about the Ipswich Spill Festival . Find out how my journals have helped me.
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, through Siberia to Moscow, end of the line for me.
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, from Beijing through Siberia to Moscow
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Cycling in Beijing, close to the Forbidden City and climbing the Great Wall of China
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. My fourth country, China, Shanghai
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Sailing from Osaka through the inland Japanese sea to Shanghai was wonderfully cathartic
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the magical temple of Miyajima
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the Peace Memorial in Hiroshima
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. My third country, Japan, Tokyo, exploring Shinto Temples
This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Japan was my third country
I've teamed up with Suffolk New College to offer this 3 week Mindfulness training course, starting on 24th November. The course is suitable for anyone looking for ways to cope in these difficult times.
I am so grateful for life and all the wonderful treasures that come into my life. Thank you. Om Shanti
Running has been so important to me during these times of uncertainty. It’s ticked all the boxes, physical exercise, mental strengthening, a total distraction and an opportunity to be out in nature. What would I have done without it?
I’ve been so inspired by music over the last 3 years and one of my favourite passions is community radio. Find out how I’ve been broadcasting from home during the Lockdown
Over the last 32 days I’ve been doing so many different things, the main trick is to have routines and I have many of them, some involving drinking red wine!
It’s amazing what can happen on a walk along the Fynn Valley on a Sunday afternoon, well for one thing a confirmed faith in humanity.
meditating in the Goddess Temple, dowsing at the Glastonbury Abbey and taking my friend on a shopping spree around the charity shop! I had so much fun in this magical place.
How crazy to get a call from the Assistant Producer of the ITVTonight show asking if they could film my Airbnb home. They arrived with massive cameras, spent 6 hours with me and aired my story on #ITVTonight last night. An emotional experience but one I was glad to take part in
Always start with loving yourself first that way you can share your love with others easier, that’s the theory anyway but it’s hard giving your love to others after a life time with one person. I think it’s time for me to learn the craft.
I’ve been sharing my home as an Airbnb Superhost for the last 18 months, now I’m planning to take things forward to offer a space for people who’ve lost someone special either through grief or separation. My Solo Adventurer Experiences will be exclusive and available on Eventbrite.
Everything we experience in life involves some kind of loss. When you have friends over for dinner and they leave or when my candle started to sputter and I realised I'd have to move on, get a new one. Change and loss is inevitable, how you handle it, is your choice
I signed up for an Eventbrite Pub Crawl on Saturday night but when I got there dressed in purple, I didn't see anyone else wearing that colour. A marketing ploy by the Drinks Industry to get people to visit their local pubs? Maybe.
I love New Years Eve but this year I decided to go to the pub on my own. Disaster? Well plenty of learning for sure
Those key anniversaries come and go. You should never underestimate the power of the grief that rises up
When St Elizabeth’s Hospice asked me to help Phil Wix promote his pop-up shop to sell his wife’s designer clothes, I jumped at the chance. I also know how important it is to raise money for the hospice as they only receive a small fraction of money from the government, the rest comes from donations.
A whole month alcohol free plus 31 days of activity part of Suffolk Mind’s #redjanuary. Watch out February, here I come
My 3 boys had experiences as gifts this year. Ryan made a knife at a Suffolk forge, Lyle recorded a song at Dove Studio and Richard joined a 10 week Jaffa running course
Thanks to Andy Cope and Gavin Oates for this idea "See the things that happen to you as interesting plot twists, weave them into the story of your life rather than talk about the disaster, the dramas that turn you into one of life’s victims"
email: elene@prelovedchica.com | phone: (+44)7702911223 | PRIVACY NOTICE | COOKIE POLICY
Some people plant trees, buy memorial benches or one friend made a wildflower garden with its own bug hotel in memory of his wife.